Sunday, April 8, 2012


Take a look at that picture... Is he not the best?  He is pretty stinking amazing if you ask me =)

He got to be in a Hy-Vee ad recently, and I just absolutely love a few of the pictures we were able to get from them.  Above is by far my favorite, I think it says a lot about Asa.

I wasn't planning on writing a blog this Easter evening.  Even though my family had a wonderful weekend celebrating the death and resurrection of our Savior, I still wasn't planning on writing anything.

But, as I sit here and wait for my brain to turn off thinking about this week, one thought keeps popping up... "I'm so blessed to have Asa".

God has had me thinking a lot lately about His will and how it has affected my life, how it has affected others lives, and what is in store for the future.  As Brandon and I were about to pray last night before bed, I told him that even though I'm super confused about what God wants from us... me... right now, I do know that I've seen His will in action in my life before, and it's something worth trusting.

Almost 5 1/2 years ago, I found out I was pregnant with Asa, and my life has never been the same.  I keep thinking about how my life was before that moment in a Wal-Mart bathroom as my sister tried to console me.  I was a drunk, I dabbled in drugs, I was completely impure, Selfish, Rude, Hateful, Proud, you name the sin, I'm sure I committed it or something close to.  And when I really think about it, there's was no reason for a baby to find it's way into my womb and survive.  I wasn't completely opposed to abortion at the time, and with my lifestyle, I'm surprised my body didn't miscarry.  I kept hoping it was a mistake, and that I would miscarry.  I was too chicken to go through with an abortion (I think that was God).  So, that was that.... a child was to be born.  And a child was going to need to grow up.  God had been so faithful to so many peoples prayers that I was completely unaware of, and softened my heart in the knick of time.  I found my way to Ruth Harbor, then to Walnut Creek, and then God put very key people in my life.  ALL OF THIS WAS HIS WILL.  Asa was HIS WILL for me.  Living at Ruth Harbor was His will for me.  ALL OF IT!

Why?  That I'll have to wait ask until Heaven.  Because I'm sure there's way more to that than I'll ever know.

But, I can tell you, that lately, when I look at my son, Asa, all I see is God in motion.  I see how God took a life so hideous, and wiped it clean (Thanks to Jesus) and made it precious to Him.  I watch as Asa grows more and more into a man of God, and I can't help but Thank the Lord that he's not dead due to abortion or miscarry, but that God hugged me and held me so tight to let me know He was near the whole time.

I'm not writing this to be proud, or to boast, but to express how thankful I am for the Lord in my life, and how he blessed me with one awesome kid.  Asa is smart, sweet, kind, loving, funny, handsome, respectful, helpful, obediant, and his curiousity about God reminds me that I need to have a childlike faith as well.  I love when he snuggles with me, and I love how God refines me through him.

I love Emmett just as much as I love Asa.  But Asa is one of the things God used to change this sinners heart, and I can't help but feel a special bond there, one that helps me feel that much closer to God.

So, Lord, here I am, trusting your will for me and my family.

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